What's the Suicide Knob For?

Subject: What's the Suicide Knob For? Tue Feb 03, 2009 9:34 pm

Get off work, go home, get the wife and head to Lowe's. On the way home, there's a lady in her mid-60's, hair all done-up, nice make up, well-dressed, sitting in a beautiful caddy at one of the stoplights next to us. This is where it gets funny. She has a handicapped sign hangin' from the mirror and a suicide knob bolted to the steering wheel. Her cell phone, which she is talking on, is chained to her left hand and has a loop running from that chain to the strap for her eyeglasses so the phone can't fall. Her dress is hiked up and a quart of Baskin Robbins ice cream is open between her legs, and she's scoopin' ice cream into her mouth with a spoon in her right hand at the rate of about every other word. After takin' this in, I pull out my phone. Mrs. WYite, who's drivin', asks what I'm doin'. I say, "I'm gonna get a video, 'cuz ain't nobody gonna believe this". Then the light turns green. The lady starts off steering with her knobby knees, and Mrs. WYite hits the gas before I can get my pic. I said, "Hey.." to which Mrs. WYite replies, "Ivan Jr.!", the name she reserves for when she thinks I'm doing sometin' particularly goofy (usually she calls me by my nickname, J.R.). I look back and Miss Daisy is swervin' down the street, talkin' on the phone and shovelin' ice cream in. So I get home, start thinkin' about this, which all seems kinda unreal now, and I just had a question come to mind which really is most impertinenet to the situation...if she steers with her knees, what's the suicide knob for?

WYite

The Turtle Whisperer Posts : 1930

Some states only allow handicapped folks to get suicide knobs. From what my grandfather told me, they used to be pretty popular before power steering.

I somehow don't see her racing much, but I had one on the rally beetle. One of my friends put it on as a joke originally, but it was kinda fun. Like the racing equivalent of chocking a shotgun. You feel like a bad ass, but your accuracy sucks. Wink

Subject: Re: What's the Suicide Knob For? Tue Feb 03, 2009 10:42 pm

lol...great story, WYite.

I did once see a woman with a cup of coffee and a cigarette in one hand and a cell phone in the other hand. I can only assume she was steering with her knees.